My unit has deployed to Farah, Afghanistan in support of Operation Enduring Freedom VI. We provide the security element for the Provincial Reconstruction Team in that western province. It is my first deployment in the, almost, 14 years that I have been in the military.
It is somewhat daunting to think that I am in a place where there are people that actively want to hurt me…even kill me; and where I might be in a position where I will have to take the life of another human being. It scares me to think about these things. Will I be able to shoot at another person with the intention of killing them? Or will that be just too easy? Which would be worse: to not shoot and possibly allow one of my buddies to die, or to feel no remorse for the life that I have just taken? I almost pray that I will never have to find out.
How did I get here? How did I end up in this situation?
I am an American Soldier. That says a lot, but it does not begin to scratch the surface of who I am. In coming here, I had to leave behind my family, and a job that I loved, teaching. There are hundreds of reasons that I should not have left, and damned few why I should, so why did I leave?
There are trite answers to that question. My nation called. I volunteered for the service. Love of Country, adventure, excitement…but these are not good reasons. Oh, they are all true…they are all applicable…but they are not the whole story.
For most of my life, there has been only one thing that I wanted to do…to be a Soldier. I could not truly explain why, but I knew that that was my calling. I thought, for many years, that I wanted to be an officer. For a brief time, I was. Now I know that the manner of my serving matters very little, I just want to serve. The simplest answer, and the only one that makes sense, or truly matters is thus: I serve, because that’s who I am.
There is no greater service, than to protect those you love. GK Chesterton once said, "The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him." - ILN, 1/14/11
In March 2005, I left my family, everyone that I loved. I left a teaching position and students that I cared for to come here. Why? Because I wanted to get away? Because I wanted a change of pace? No…not even close. I left because I love them, and because I want to protect them, and the best way to ensure that our enemy does not get a free hand in attacking those we love back home, is to bring the fight to their homes. Is it working? I dunno, I’m not a policy analyst, nor a strategist. I’m a simple Soldier, doing a job. It is what I do. It is who I am.
Labels: Afghanistan, Military
